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What is it like being an au pair in Italy? My experience living and working with kids in Milan

Wondering what it’s really like being an au pair in italy? Here’s my personal experience joining the ranks of temp nannies on the Med.  This isn’t the typical au pair in Italy blog about lavish beach holidays with a jetsetting family, but could help you find solid work abroad! Of course, I can’t speak for other au pair experiences, but I’ll sprinkle in some handy tips on finding a good host family.

Finding the right au pair job in Italy

So here’s the story. First, I booked a flight to Rome at the end of a toasty summer, a lovely change from my last job in Iceland  and I figured that since I already had experience working with children, it would be easy to pick up an au pair job, or the alternative would have been to study in Florence.

The main appeal of being an au pair was the simplicity of a homestay and flexibility. I figured it was time to give it a shot.

I guess it’s important to be honest, though, that travel doesn’t always work out the way we plan. Rome was exquisite, but every day I went to interviews and received no offers. I guess I just wasn’t the au pair Rome wanted. I was lodging in an Airbnb, so money was flowing and I panicked a bit. You should know that even after a good few travels, I always, always panic about money.

Caring for a toddler as an au pair in Italy
Little tiger looking truly innocent!

How to find a good host family

I jumped online and looked further afield, but still hunting for a job working with kids in Italy. I found a site that would match me with families without the formal agency process (and agency fees). I’d have to vet the family myself and get my own insurance.

The site was GreatAuPair.com, but there are heaps of others, just as good. I had a good experience with this site, but I’m not affiliated with them in any way.

It only took a week of searching. I uploaded a profile with photos, completed some site ID checks and sent out a stock message to suitable families, hoping someone would bite.

The result was a sweet family in Milan, a mum and dad and just one 3 year old blonde boy. They said they were keen mainly to have me help their son become bilingual and to play and tutor him at home, a kind of holiday nanny until he was ready to start at nursery.

I had one Skype interview, then booked a train to Milan to start the job, feeling somewhat nervous.

Tip, if your prospective host family has ever had an au pair before, ask for that girl’s email. You will get a clear picture of the family from what she says!

Romantic restaurant candles- entertainment is good being an au pair in Italy
Milan is full of romantic restaurants

What is it like being an au pair in Italy?

I think my host family were pretty atypical! They were very softspoken and sweet natured. In fact, they told me their last au pair had upset them by having too boisterous a voice, so I was quite conscious of that. I’m not particularly loud, but I got used to keeping my voice down all the time.

Get ready for a shocker. The mum told me that she preferred to do all the cooking and cleaning herself, and that I should focus only on her son. I don’t think that’s common for au pair jobs in Italy, but it was my honest experience!

What was my salary while au pairing in Italy?

We agreed that I would receive all my meals with the family and a small 50 euro allowance per week, plus I had my own room in their town flat. They lived in a suburb of Milan, so I often had to pay the train fare into the city and that’s where a lot of my money went. I also sometimes bought my own food because I have a big appetite and didn’t want to eat them out of house and home.

They didn’t pay for language lessons, but I arranged my own at the Milan town hall. The whole semester cost only 200 euros, so definitely check your town hall for cheap classes.

Italy was just as fabulous I had hoped, with stunning food, gorgeous villages and great culture. I joined some social groups in the city, made a few precious friends and spent weekends travelling to Liechtenstein and the tiny nation of San Marino.

What is au pair work like?

Speaking from my experience, it was 5 hours work per day playing and caring for a child.

Unfortunately, things didn’t go smoothly. Remember that ex-au pair I mentioned the family having had? When I arrived they nervously told me that she had somehow upset their son and he was very suspicious of anyone new.

This proved to be a big problem!

Try whatever I would, playing and coaxing him in Italian, he never trusted me and would fly into tantrums everyday the moment that I entered his room. We tried everything, but he never warmed to me and it was a battle from the get-go. It seemed impossible to have him accept the situation.

Can you believe it?

I was so surprised, because I’d just left a five year old in Iceland who took to me like a duck to water! I also have years of experience as a language tutor for kids, but had never been in a situation like this.

Im not blaming the family however, they were so nice about it and continued to say that it was to do with the past and not my fault- I’m not sure if that was really the case!

I offered to stay without my weekly allowance as I felt I wasn’t having a big enough impact to deserve it. The family very generously refused that, and instead had me teach another family member several hours a week, so I was more valuable.

After a few months, I decided to cut my losses and go home for Christmas, then on to a new adventure in Australia. All au pair host family experiences are different, so next time it might be totally different!

Me during my time as an au pair in Milan
I still found time to take glamorous mirror selfies!

So do you need experience to work as an au pair?

If you go via an agency, then, yes definitely.

But, if you arrange the placement without really using an agency; you’ll need to show the family you have sufficient skills with children to know what you’re doing. Think along the lines of babysitting, voluntary work, or looking after a younger sibling.

Should you use an agency to find au pair jobs?

I think the only way to decide is by weighing up the pros and cons.

If you use an agency you will receive:

  • better security and protection
  • help getting a work visa (but I didn’t need this, as I am from the EU)
  • paid language lessons and a maximum of 30 hours work per week over 6 days
  • BUT you will have to pay a cut to the agency and you will be bound by a tight contract

Trip to the Aeolian Islands as an au pair in Italy

When is the best time to start an au pair job?

The most common time to start the job is in July, when summer holidays roll around. At that time, kids won’t be in school and parents need a lot of help.

Make sure to start looking early, it could easily take a few months to get your flight, visa and a family that you love!

So is being an au pair in Italy worth it?

It certainly won’t make you rich! But it’s a great way to grab work abroad easily and keep travelling. The food was great, laced with olive oil and the freshest bread.

I never felt overworked or mistreated, but often like I needed to watch so much more Supernanny to understand children. There definitely wasn’t any glam globetrotting or being whisked on pricey holidays, like some au pairs report. But, a good host family will look after you as well as employ you.

Find out what it's really like being an au pair in Italy. Get tips on finding work with or without an agency plus my personal experience of what the work, pay and conditions are like in Milan. Here's some ideas to get your started living and working abroad.
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Danni Lawson

11 thoughts on “What is it like being an au pair in Italy? My experience living and working with kids in Milan”

  1. I worked as an au pair in Spain, and my duty was, like you, to tutor two girls with their English.
    Every experience is different from the other, and you’ll be different, too. But one tip I would give to anyone is to definitely make sure that you know exactly what you’re going to do – so you know if you’ll have to cook or not 😉
    Working in Italy as aupair won’t for sure make you rich, but you can if you teach English!
    So, would you say that you liked the experience or not?

    1. Great experience, and a perfect way to be able to travel and live abroad longer. But yes for sure it is naive to assume (as I did) that you will get along well with all kids. It can be rough at times! Thanks for your comment 🙂

  2. I have friends who’ve worked as au pairs in Rome. Some have had GREAT experiences and really bonded with their host families. Others have been overworked, underpaid and suffered communication problems and language barriers. It sounds like a bit of a lottery but your tips will be very useful to anyone wanting to get into the au pair industry

  3. Ugh! Au Pair-ing is something that crossed my mind so many times to do, and this post has given me serious FOMO! Sounds like it would’ve been a really cool learning experience…

  4. Hi there,
    I am an Italian mum of a 3 years old toddler searching for an au pair (girl or boy) and I have enjoyed a lot Your point of view about the experience of “being an au pair”. Italy can be a difficult and uncomprehensive place but if You make Your needs clear since the beginning You won’t be disappointed. I am sure it’s been hard to find a family but, believe me, it is even harder to find an au pair. I have no sympathy for agency because they are too tight with rules and procedure and they ask for a payment both from au pair and families; so, the hardest part is to get in touch with girls and boys who would like to do the “job”. I am checking so many blogs about it just to find someone interested. I am happy You enjoyed the experience at the end of the story. Thanks for sharing. LOL >Emanuella

    1. Ciao,
      di dove sei? sono inglese sono di l’Inghilterra. Parlo inglese perfetto ma solo un po’italiano. voglio imparare parlare italiano!

  5. Wow what a great experience! It was really helpful for me, thank you a lot. Btw, I have a question: is it necessary to speak Italian while working as a nanny? Or you could speak only English and you were understood? I’m just thinking of trying this job in several years, but I’m not sure if I must have some level of Italian.. I can speak English, my native language, which is Russian, and a biiiit of Italian.

    1. Hi Alisa, I didn’t speak very good Italian when I arrived (dodgy at best). But I went to a course run by the local town hall and by the time I left I passed a test at intermediate level. So that’s what I’d recommend for you too 🙂 Have a great time!

  6. Hi Danni, I like your article, so helpful. I am from Indonesia, which required me to have study visa to be an au pair in Italy. Language course is one of the option, I’ve been looking for Italian course, and its kind of expensive. And I would like to ask about assign to Italian course in local town hall. Where to check it out? How to assign to it? Is it possible to check it on their website? And how many hours a week? Thanks. 🙂

  7. Jacqueline Dolland

    Hi Everyone,
    When I arrived in Italy as an au pair, I could not speak the language. I was seventeen and a half years old, speaking only English. However, I had some help from the two little boys, although, I was there to familiarize them with the English language. The mother spoke a little. I quickly made friends with a couple of other teenagers in the area. They also taught me Italian. I had a wonderful time with the host family. They were very welcoming, and made me feel very much a part of the family. Originally, my main duty was caring for the two small boys. When I needed extra funds, the family compensated me for light house chores. We worked very well together. I received one day off in the week, and one on the weekend. If I went away with the family on a weekend, I would get two days off during the week.

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